It is not exactly a well hidden secret that travelling is one of my greatest obsessions and I can honestly admit (without a shred of shame) that I use all the money I can spare on travels around the globe, preferably to the more warmer destinations. The biggest disadvantage of travelling is however, in my opinion, getting there, so in this post I will share my top 9 things that irritates me when flying.
OK, many will maybe include crying babies in their list, but here I am a bit ambivalent. Even though I of course hope to avoid being seated next to families with a baby, it is impossible to blame that little bundle of joy for anything. I have myself been very lucky with my own son, given he has behaved like an angel from his first flight when he was about 6 months old. From that trip I remember one stressed out mom (namely me) trying to change his diaper on the tiny toilet, while I myself had to use the toilet. How anyone can be physically able to join the mile high club in these conditions is to me a … Anyway, back to the toilet changing my son’s diaper. Afterwards I tried to place him up against the wall, so that I could use the toilet, but he just kept falling over on the dirty floor. In the end I had to open the door and pass him to the next person in a very long line, asking him to pass my son down the line and hope that his father would recognize him when he passed by. Worked like a charm (this was not a very big plane, so the risk of handing over my baby to a stranger was slim to none). The flight attendants later fell in love with my son and carried him around for the remainder of the trip.
OK, that was a bit off topic, but the point was that I have excluded innocent, little babies from my hate list, even the crying ones. The list is therefore as follows:
9. Slow (as in so-incredible-slow-it-shouldn’t-be possible) people in the security check line. You know the type, right? The ones that are wearing like 10 metal necklaces, shoes with metal tip, watch, rings, multiple computers, Ipads and what nots, scarfs, jacket, glasses, sun lotion, aloe very juice etc and who doesn’t prepare a thing before they are in front of the line and hence occupy it for a looooong time. For some reason I always end up in that line..
8. People who bring all their belongings as carry-on and take up all the room in the cabin (and under my seat as well…). They also often manage to fill up the compartments behind their own seat as well, so when the passengers are to exit the plane, they are struggling their way in the opposite direction to retrieve their belongings.
7. People who ignore the yellow line in front of the conveyor belt and places themselves almost on the belt itself to retrieve their luggage. Don’t mind the rest of the passengers who cannot get to their suitcase when it passes by.
6. Flights involving a shuttle bus. To me is like winning the lottery if I get to board the plane directly without having to be transferred to it in I shuttle bus.
5. Flights from Oslo (Norway’s main airport). Gardermoen is all lines, slow service, delayed flights and crowds. Also, it is a 2 hour train ride with a train service that is often late and almost as often replaced with pedestrian-for-bus-for-train service. Since I am also pathologically inclined to always being early at the airport, it means that several hours have to be added as buffer to the total travel trip. To make things worse, I have a just-in-time boyfriend, but he indulges me by not asking when our flight is but only when we are to leave. In return I buy him a beer at the bar when he discovers that we yet again are 3+ hours early at the airport. I much prefer travelling from our local airport in Sandefjord, a 10 minutes drive away. Even I do not have to add so much buffer time then.
4. When the not-so-baby-anymore kids are kicking the back of my seat and the parents ignore them while sipping their wine and watching movies and pretend not to notice my after a while not so subtle hints that this is frowned upon. My strategy then is to directly confront the little prince/princess and tell them to stop pronto! Even when doing this it seems like there is only a 50% chance of the parents noticing.
3. People hovering in the aisle when passengers are boarding. How hard can it be to move aside and let other people pass by? This is by the way closely connected with earlier point of bringing all of their belongings into the plane. The less carry-on the faster they can be seated and the less risk of delayed departure (and, most important, the less frustration for yours truly.)
2. People taking up parts of my seat or my personal space. Once I had treated myself to a place by the emergency exit for better legroom and I anticipated a smooth ride. Then, this huge bodybuilder’ish guy drops down in the seat next to me and need I say that his upper body needed some of my space as well? In addition he was seriously man spreading, which left me no choice than to lean up against the window. Then the guy fell asleep and leaned towards me even more, which resulted in me being pinned to the wall, and not being able to move at all
1. People who pushes back the chair while I am in the middle of my meal. Plenty of times I have had to grab on to my drink or tray to avoid it ending in may lap due to the moron in front of me pushing back his seat without any considerations, leaving me to finish my meal while having to watch his dandruff head threatening to sprinkle my food.
Wow, despite these hick-ups (I know I sound awful, but most of the time the people that annoys me are blessfully ignorant about it), I do really love travelling. Or, more specific, I really love getting there. My next trip will be to Dubai in just a few days and I am so looking forward to getting away from the snow and the cold. Bon Voyage…